Monday, March 19, 2012

The question you can’t escape

M asked me to go to the Dr with him after work.  Honestly, this visit is way past due.  M gets really bad ingrown toe nails.  This particular one he has caused his toe to split from the infection this weekend.  It’s really a very gross thing.

So we go to insta-care since we know we can’t get into the podiatrist on such notice and know we will see a new Dr.  The nurse puts M’s toe in a warm tub to soak while we wait for the Dr.  In walks Dr and the following conversation happens…

Dr: Eww, that’s a gross toe

                (haha, it’s bad if the first thing the Dr comments on is how gross the toe looks)

M:  Yep, that’s why I am here.

Dr: How long has that toe nail been ingrown?

M: A few days…

Me: Um, more than a few days.

Dr:  Ah yes, I would say more than a few days.

                The Dr starts gathering stuff up

Dr: So, do you two have any kids.

                (M looks at me, I refuse to answer. I wonder why we are getting the kids question when we are in here for a pussy, swollen, ingrown, infected, and disgusting toe.  Where is the connection between gross toe and kids?)

M:  No

Dr:  Oh…are you married?

M: Yes.

Dr: Oh, how long have you been married?

M: 10 years

Dr: Oh…

                (you can insert a awkward silence here)

The Dr then numbs M’s toe and leaves for 20 minutes for the numbing to work.  I tell M that it bothers me that the kid question is always the first question that people ask us when they meet us.  M tells me it isn’t a big deal.  We live in “Utah/Mormonville” and the majority of people our age have kids.  I say that I know, but that I still find the question annoying.  I ask M what he thinks it would be like to actually be able to move a conversation past the kids question without it being awkward.  M starts cracking jokes about the funny things we could say and situations that we would find funny.  That’s why I love this guy so much.  He can make anything humorous and cheer me up.  Although, we have found that other people find infertility/childless jokes to not be as funny as we find them, so we keep them to ourselves!


  1. I too would like to know why the kid question in this, of all settings. What did it have to do with the reason you were there?? or was he just trying to wrap up with some small talk?? Ugh.

    1. I think it was just small talk as she worked on M's toe. It just annoys me how that question is everywhere and I must keep my guard up for it all the time. Maybe I will become more desensitized overtime:) I think the religious culture where I live has a big impact on it too. That may have to be a future post…

  2. Oh, how do I hate this question! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!!!!
    Without it I could already live our happily-ever-after.

  3. I like to imagine I'd say "and how is that relevant to the treatment you're giving?" But I'd probably be too much of a wimp.

    You can search online for good responses about not having kids. I like joking that I'd say these - but I usually wouldn't!

    No, we don't have kids because:
    The dog would get jealous/is allergic (my favourite)
    The cats (dogs) turned out so well we didn’t think it was necessary.
    We have white carpet.

    1. Haha...those are good. I will have to say "cat" on those:)

  4. My all-time favorite response: we've evolved to perfection.