I mentioned in my prior post that we were going to a friend’s family cabin this last weekend. It was a good time with no small children, but this complaint is about one conversation with an adult.
Someone M and I have only met once or twice showed up and after he had a few drinks into him he started talking about how he is upset and how he is going to be a Grandpa soon. He isn’t happy with the guy that his teenage daughter is having a baby with. I braced myself to hear all about the situation. After he had talked about it a few people had wandered off so it was a small group sitting in the shade and he turned to M and I and asked how many kids we had. This is the conversation:
M: Zero
Soon to be Grandpa: Oh, you don’t have any kids?
M: No kids
Soon to be Grandpa: How long have you been married?
M: 11 years
Soon to be Grandpa: Why don’t you want to have kids? Having kids is the best thing I have ever done with my life.
M: Dude, we can’t have kids.
Soon to be Grandpa: Oh…
Here is where Soon to be Grandpa rattles on about how much he loves his kids and how he has a revolving door policy so his kids know they are always welcome in his house, and on and on.
Ok, giving the guy the benefit of the doubt I realized that he had consumed a few drinks and was upset about a situation in his family. But why does he get to be an ass about it? Why after finding out that having children is something that we are not able to do does he go on to gloat?
I guess we were the ones that sat there and let him go on like that, but what an idiot.
Thanks, it’s now off my chest
Why is it that those conversation keep happening time and time again. Our response is now: "no, we don't have kids - we have dogs".
ReplyDeleteI suppose infertility has taught us all to be kind with our words. After all, you could have gone on and on about how it could possibly happen that his teenage daughter was having unprotected sex...but, we know better!
OUCH OUCH OUCH...I don't like the fact that he assumed that you two didn't want to have kids...YIKES!!!!
ReplyDeleteI wonder why when we answer "no" to the question it seems that it's not "a good enough answer" for the other party. That there HAS to be some explanation...weird!!! And I don't think it's my own feeling 'coz they usually continue the question with other questions...
Some people are just idiots. Simple as that!
ReplyDeleteThis Soon to be Grandpa has EQ about zero. How horrible that his genes are spreading further. Yuck!
What an ass.
ReplyDeleteI live in SLC (so can relate to not having kids in this crazy kid-land) and just two years ago discovered we are infertile. We are planning to try 1 round of IVF soon but if that doesn't work will probably just choose to live childfree, so I've liked following your blog the last while. Thanks for sharing.
Amanda
Amanda, I am glad to meet you. It's nice to know we are not alone in crazy kid-land Utah!
DeleteI think many people still don't expect to hear the answer we all give... it catches them off guard & they don't know what to say, so they start to babble. Which is no excuse, but an explanation of sorts. ; )
ReplyDelete