Tuesday, July 17, 2012


I haven’t really had a lot to say lately, IRL or here.  I have been keeping myself really busy so I don’t have much free time.  I’m still busy with my summer classes and work is busy so I’m putting in a few extra hours.  My yard has somehow sprung out of control, probably because I ignored it this spring after my surgery.  I have been squeezing in some maintenance and repairs on the house we live in and the house that we rent out.  I have been avoiding meeting M’s new nephews and babies that our friends have had the last few months.  Family and friends keep mentioning to me that we need to go see these babies, but I have not been making the time for that.  I rarely make time to see our friends, forget about their kids.
I came to the assumption that to the outside world it may look like I’m hiding, but I don’t think that is exactly correct.  Maybe you could call it hiding in the short term, but in my mind I feel like it is more like preparing for the future.  I feel calm and more peace with my emotions right now.  I haven’t had any emotional breakdowns, no tears.  I am working hard to have a better future for M and I.  I’m excited as I can check off each class as I get closer to attaining my Master’s degree.  I’m hoping that what I am doing at work will be noticed.  I want to get our house and our rental house in good shape in case we decide that a move is in our future and they need to be sold.  I am working on my projects and my to-do list because I feel good about myself when I can delete items off it. 
I am getting out this weekend and going with some friends to their family cabin in a neighboring state.  I know this will be a fairly child free weekend and I am excited for this fact. 
So to the outside world it may look like I am hiding, but this emotional calm that I am finding is worth the little bit of distance I have created for the time being.


  1. I am happy for you that you are finding way of reaching your emotional calm... it is priceless!

    (my way was the same... some people got offended... but REAL friends understood & supported me)

  2. Being busy and calm is good. :-D HAVE FUN during the weekend! We'll have relatives coming from the south on their summer holiday and hope we can have BBQ this weekend, though it seems it's gonna be rather cool (just hope it won't rain though!).

  3. Today I'm hiding, (intentionally using that word) focusing on myself, with my furry kids, friends' support (by text, phone and email) due to having a new nephew (first nephew/niece ever to me) born today- thankfully the new family is in another state otherwise I don't know if they'd handle if I didn't come if we all were in the same state.) Happy for the family, truly I am. Just.. :flopping hand in air-youknowwhatimean::::

    I agree with you with preparing for the future- in which I like calling as "adjusting to the new reality." Take care of yourself as the first priority.

  4. I'm really glad you're feeling so calm and contented - and excited about the future. Family and friends (and their babies) will still be there next year, and I'm sure there is no shortage of people ready to fuss over them right now, so I'm glad you're not feeling pressured into seeing them until you feel ready.